Belle of the Blog

UMASS Outlaws Beer Pong

2006-01-31T15:25:00.000-05:00

It is the first day of classes for the spring semester, here at UMASS. There is a special feeling in the air today. The undergrads are back, and will undoubtably put the "Zoo" back in ZooMass.

But just in case, they have any funny ideas about...oh, I don't know...partying, the UMASS adminstration wants everyone to know that even if they are 21, they are being watched.

So let this be a warning to all of you...Even if you are 21

Beer pong and other drinking games are, henceforth, banned.
Regardless of your age, you can not have more than 12 cans or bottles of beer in your dorm room.
You can not have more than one bottle of liquor or 2 bottles of wine at any one time.
No taps
No funnels
No more than 10 people drinking together in one place.

That's right, folks. Not only is this true, but what is so surprising is that it is national news.

I'm not sure what they hope to accomplish with these new rules. I spent my undergrad years on a dry campus (meaning NO alcohol regardless of one's age). That didn't stop anyone from doing any of the above listed activities. Heck, a few years ago, it was named the #1 party school in the nation by USA Today.

So what is this going to change? Really? They'll just smuggle cases of beer into the dorms in their suitcases and drink behind closed doors like they did in high school. Worse yet, they'll probably be more likely to drive to off-campus house parties.

And I don't think any new rules are going to tame Southwest.

photo by Doktor

As if we didn't already know that Steelers fans are crazy....

2006-01-30T13:50:00.000-05:00

There is yet more proof.

Early this morning, my eyes popped open at around 3 AM. Do you ever have days like that? Where you wake up in the middle of the night and your body, for some unknown reason, thinks it's 7 AM? Well, that happened to me. After about 15 minutes of trying to will myself to sleep, I figured I'd turn on the television. The news was on. Which of course, did the trick. Within about 10 minutes, I was about to doze back off to sleep when I heard something on the news that woke me right up again.

A town outside of Pittsburgh has temporarily changed its name to Steeler, PA. You can read the Associated Press story for yourself.

The folks of Washington, PA don't want anyone to mistake them for Seattle Seahawks fans...you know, just because the name of their town is Washington.

"I know the folks in the state of Washington are rooting for the Seahawks, so we wanted to make sure everyone knows the city of Washington is fully in support of the Steelers." --Mayor Kenneth J. Westcott

So from now until Feb 6th, Washington will be officially known as Steeler. If you want to send a letter to any of these crazy Steelers fans, address the envelope to Washington, PA, though. The United States Postal Service doesn't recognize the name change.

More crazy news from Pittsburgh

2006-01-27T09:51:00.000-05:00

Thank you to Scott at Blog Beat, for giving me evidence that Steelers fans are indeed crazy.

Here's the cliff's notes version of the story: A high school student in a Pittsburgh suburb named Joshua Vannoy made the mistake of wearing a Denver Broncos jersey to school during the week leading up to last weekend's Broncos/Steelers face-off. It was the day of an exam. His teacher pulled all the desks into a circle, made him sit on the floor in the center of the circle, and gave students extra points on the exam for pelting him with wads of paper. Which they, of course, commenced to do with abandon. When one girl refused, the teacher ripped the paper out of her hand and pelted the kid himself. Whoa. The poor guy was traumatized.

"Joshua said he was so furious his hands were shaking and he could hardly concentrate. He said he was lying flat on the carpet trying to answer essay questions about the Israeli Six-Day War and the Cold War while his face burned with shame."--Pittsburgh Post Gazette

So since I was in Pittsburgh last weekend, I can tell you first hand that the place is crazed for the Steelers. It's like mass hysteria there. Steelers songs play non-stop--not just on the radio, but on the street. Half the people are wearing black and gold. Women have black and gold finger nail polish. Black and Gold ribbons in their hair. Cars are adorned as if they are in a parade. The city is one big pep rally for the Steelers.

According to Sally Kalson, a columnist for the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, the teacher had this to say about the incident:

"We won the game [Sunday] night, didn't we? That's all I was worried about."

You can't make this stuff up, people.

Public Service Annoucement: If you forgot to file your federal income tax return in 2001, just tell them that you put it in the mail.

2006-01-26T17:17:00.000-05:00

They just might believe you.

I have been traveling a lot lately (one of the reasons I haven't been blogging much), and last weekend took me to Pittsburgh, PA. More on that later...But I share this tidbit because it was in Pittsburgh that I learned of an unbelivable event.

You know how at the hotel they leave the newspaper (in this case the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review) at your doorstep? I don't usually read the local paper when I am traveling, but for some reason, I picked up the paper and started reading. And I was floored by what I read, so I must share it here.

Did you know that in April 2002, over 70,000 2001 New England tax returns were destroyed before they ever got to the IRS? How, do you ask?

It's hard to believe, but this is what happened: The IRS contracts externally to process the returns. In 2001, Mellon Bank in Pittsburgh was one of those processing centers. Every year, Mellon Bank hired temporary workers to help process the returns. Problem was, they were trying to save money, and instead of the usual 200 extra people, they hired about 70. Surprise, surprise--as their late April deadline approached, they still had over 70,000 returns unprocessed.

Did they call the bigwigs at Mellon and tell them what was happening? Noooo. People under stress will do crazy things. The supervisor was afraid he'd lose his job. So what did he do? He told the staff to box up the unprocessed returns and bring them to a storage closet to hide them. When they ran out of room, they started putting the returns in big canvas bags. When they ran out of those, he sent an employee to the supermarket to buy big black trashbags which they filled with the remaining tax returns and sent to the dump!! I'm not kidding. It really happened.

"(Workers) were under pressure to meet the deadline or they would lose their jobs," Picking said. "And that's what ultimately led to the crime, in our eyes."

In the short-term, mission accomplised, they didn't lose their jobs. In the long term? Not so good. They are going to jail. That has got to be the most extreme example of short-sightedness I have ever heard of.

So if you are chastising yourself for doing something stupid today, like locking your keys in your car, or sending out a business letter with a typo on it, just think about these people.

Feel better already, don't you?

Meet Craig

2006-01-11T08:09:00.000-05:00

While purusing Craig's List have you ever asked yourself: So who is Craig? Or perhaps you've wondered: is there even a "Craig"?

Well, wonder no more. In New York Magazine there is a profile of Craig Newmark, the founder of Craig's List.

His motivation for starting the site? "We wanted to give people a break"

I love this guy.

1-800-555-FEMA

2006-01-06T23:11:00.000-05:00

I got a call from a friend of mine today. We hadn't talked in months, and we had a lot of catching up to do. She is a firefighter in a relatively dangerous city. She generally kicks ass. I want to be like her when I grow up.

Anyway, my friend told me that she had been out of town for a great deal of the fall season. She was dispatched by her fire department to New Orleans almost immediately after the hurricane. She wanted to help rescue people. She is a rescue worker. It is what she is trained to do.

I asked her what it was like. Did she help rescue people from flooded buildings? Nope. FEMA assigned her (and every other rescue worker she knew) to hand out brochures with FEMA's contact number on it. That's what she did all day. Kind of like those annoying "flyer guys" on Manhattan street corners who won't let you walk past without taking a piece of paper.

No rescues.

At night, she would go home to her hotel room, turn on the TV, and watch Sean Penn rescue people from flooded buildings.

FEMA sucks.

Someone sure does have a lot of time on their hands...

2006-01-06T17:09:00.000-05:00

What would you do if you bought a bag of nuts at Wal-mart, brought them home, started eating them, cracked open a nut and a condom popped out? Yes, that is what I said: a condom.

A Colorado couple had this experience recently when they bought a bag of filbert nuts (aka hazelnuts) . How did this happen? According to today's Associated Press story, the mystery was solved when the police looked it up on the internet.

"The couple took the nut — and its contents — back to Wal-Mart, where an assistant manager photographed it before the Geists took it to the police. Whether someone thought it was a joke, we take it very seriously," said Wal-Mart spokeswoman Karen Burk. "This is a food-tampering issue."

Apparently, someone had drilled a hole in the nut, emptied the shell and then plugged the hole with wood putty after the condom was inserted.

Someone sure does have a lot of time on their hands.

Turns out, though, that someone else thought of it first. You can actually buy a condom in a nut. The nuts are walnuts, though. The genius who punked the couple in Colorado broke from tradition to choose the hazelnut.

It turns out the "surprise a stranger with a condom in a nut" prank is nothing new. Oslofoodie, a blogger in Norway had the same thing happen to her on Christmas back in 2004. You can read about it in her blog (complete with pictures of the culprit walnut and its contents) here.

Unlike the couple in today's story who went to the police with the offensive nut, Oslofoodie just laughed and admired the prankster's "patch-work." What a refreshing attitude. I think I'll add Norway to my list of places to visit.

I'm famous!

2006-01-04T20:18:00.000-05:00

Ok...not famous. But my ego was certainly inflated a bit recently when Scott Brodeur requested an interview with me. Scott was the founding editor-in-chief of www.masslive.com, the online arm of The Republican. Although I will admit I'm not a Republican subscriber (sorry, Scott), I check out masslive.com often, and as some of you know from my blog entries, one of my insomniatic habits is to check out the campuscam featured on the site. He is now the managing editor for website development at Advance.net and also writes two blogs, Blog Beat, and the Blog Beat Northampton, which are hosted on masslive.com. I'm a fan of his blogs, so I was very flattered that he even knew about mine. If you haven't read his stuff, you should check it out. I love following some of the links he discovers. If it weren't for him, I never would have read about the grandma who did a three story beer bong before a college football game this fall.

And now is as good a time as any to check out Blog Beat, because he published his interview with me yesterday (January 3).

I feel like a celebrity. Well, a little bit anyway...

Where is the snow?

2006-01-03T09:54:00.000-05:00

According to www.masslive.com, we are in for some nasty weather. Winter storm warnings are snaking across the bottom of my TV screen, and The UMASS campus is closed. The white stuff is supposed to be coming down fast and furious. Right now. So where is it?

It snowed a little this morning. But it isn't snowing anymore. Just look at the most recent campuscam photo from downtown Amherst, and you will know what I mean. We are in the middle of a "no'easter [that] could drop up to 18 inches," but it's not snowing!!

I've always wondered if local television news stations look forward to bad weather the way that CNN looks forward to wars. Ratings boosts, you know. Sometimes, I feel like my local weatherman embellishes a little to keep me glued to the screen.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not disappointed. Shoveling snow is not my idea of a great time. But, still...

The Chronic(als) of Narnia rap. Yo!

2005-12-30T09:39:00.000-05:00

The other day I went with my family to see The Chronicles of Narnia. Have you seen it? I read the C.S. Lewis books as a kid. They were pretty true to the book. A few months ago, there seemed to be some controversy over the film because of its Christian themes. When I read the the books in middle school, I didn't even notice the gospel echoing throughout the stories.

When I went to see the movie earlier this week, I totally saw the parallels between the tales of Narnia and the story of salvation. So what? I don't understand why that is such a big deal or created such a stir.

Anyway...a couple of weeks ago, there was a really funny SNL short that parodied rap videos. It was about a couple of white guys going to see the Chronicles of Narnia. It is the Chronic(als) of Narnia Rap. It is called "Lazy Sunday", and it is HILARIOUS. You can watch it here.

Da Bears!

2005-12-27T10:35:00.000-05:00

I don't watch football on television. But I recently watched football on television two days in a row. I'm hundreds of miles away from the Pioneer Valley, visiting my parents who live deep in Chicago Bears territory. Sunday afternoon, I watched the Bears play the Packers for the division championship with my father. The Bears won. They are on their way to the playoffs, and if the wishes and hopes of Chicagoans count for anything, another superbowl is in their future.

Last night we watched part of Monday Night Football. The New England Patriots are now the 2005 AFC East Champions. They are on their way to the playoffs, too.

I was feeling very nostalgic last night. You may be wondering to yourself "if you never watches football on television, then why would you be feeling nostagic?" Ok. so maybe you aren't asking yourself this... But I'm going to explain anyway.

Two reasons: Monday Night Football. The Chicago Bears.

Last night was the last Monday Night Football on ABC. There was an interesting article about the history of Monday Night Football in the Washington Post yesterday. Next year, football will be broadcast on ESPN on monday nights. The big network football games will be televised on sunday afternoons on NBC. Even though I never watched Monday Night Football, it felt like the end of an era.

But the thing on my mind more than Monday Night Football, was the Chicago Bears, who may be on the way to their first Superbowl since 1986. Twenty years. Wow.

I'm not a football fan, but I can still name players from that 1985 Chicago Bears season even though I was a kid then: running back Walter "Sweetness" Payton, William "the Refrigerator" Perry, Jim McMahon (the "Punky QB"), and linebacker "Samurai" Mike Singletary, Superbowl XX MVP Richard Dent, and receiver Willie Gault. And of course, their unforgettable coach, Mike Ditka. The superbowl game itself was kind of boring (as sometimes superbowls are) because there was no suspense. The Bears trounced the New England Patriots (sorry to bring up bad memories, New England fans) 46 - 10, setting a record for the most points ever scored in in a superbowl game.

Better than the superbowl, was the excitement leading up to the championship. We L-O-V-E-D our team. Walter Payton was the smooth one. Singletary was the cuddly teddybear off-field who was ferocious on the field. Jim McMahon looked like a "blues brother" with his signature black rayban sunglasses (that we learned he wore because he took a fork in the eye as a kid). And "The Fridge" was the huge (ok, fat) defensive lineman who actually scored a touchdown during the superbowl even though he couldn't run any faster than me. I remember a radio promotion in which the winner of a Bears trivia game won a new refridgerator stocked full of food.

The thing I remember the most about the holiday season leading up to Superbowl XX was the sound of The Superbowl Shuffle. It was a song recorded by the team to benefit needy Chicago families. I heard it on the radio. It played nonstop in department stores where the 12" album was being sold. The video played on television. It was everywhere. To this day, I can sing entire portions of the song.

We're the Bears Shufflin' Crew.
Shufflin' on down, doin' it for you.
We're so bad we know we're good.
Blowin' your mind like we knew we would.
You know we're just struttin' for fun
Struttin' our stuff for everyone.
We're not here to start no trouble.
We're just here to do the Super Bowl Shuffle.

If you are interested in hearing the entire track, go here and scroll down towards the bottom of the page. Turns out there is a radio show called "Crap from the Past" that aires on WFAI FM 90.3 in Minneapolis on Friday nights from 10:30 - Midnight. You can learn more about it, by going to their website, which is where I found the recording of "the shuffle." They have an RSS feed for podcasts.

So, with the Chicago Bears in the NFC and the Patriots in the AFC, it is possible that they could face off in the Superbowl this year. For those of you who are cheering for the Patriots, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I will be rooting for my childhood team...da Bears.

Flying Off Into the Wild Blue Yonder

2005-12-23T23:37:00.000-05:00

Well, I've finished packing.

Tomorrow morning I take off to visit my family. I may check in intermittantly through out the week.

Merry Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hannuka, Festivus, and every other holiday I may have forgotten!!

In lieu of of a holiday card, I present to you the link for the new Jib Jab cartoon. Enjoy!!

photo by kneague

What in the world does she see in HIM?

2005-12-22T12:43:00.000-05:00

OK. I'll admit it....I watched the finale of Martha Stewart's Apprentice last night. I had no real interest in learning who actually won out of the two remaining candidates, but I wanted to see what Martha would say during the finale. Since the show taped, Martha hasn't had very many nice things to say about the shows candidates. In the Dec 8th edition of BusinessWeek, Martha said some, shall we say, not so nice things about the show and its contestants. Here are a few choice choice excerpts:

Martha on her decision to be a part of the show:

"It's unusual for me to take a job like The Apprentice, and it was just a job. I got paid a fee. I have no participation in the show. Generally, we're the originators. But I did it because I knew it would be a jump-start, and it would get attention."

Martha on the quality of remaining candidates:

"Yeah, we're getting close to which of those inappropriate contestants we are actually going to have to hire. I can't believe people behave like that. They're exhibitionists and opportunists, those kids. I did not choose them either, by the way. I just want you to know I had nothing to do really with the choice of the contestants. That's part of reality television."

Ouch.

So the finale took place on the set of her daily show. Most of it was pretty boring, but one thing was very interesting to me. The 2nd runner up (who was kicked off the show right before the final) was this guy named Jim. Jim was this graphic designer who came on Martha Stewarts Apprentice thinking he was on Survivor or something. He had "strategies" to pit contestants against one another. He had "strategies" to get people to like him, so that he could stab them in the back. he had "strategies" to be zany and unpredictable so that other contestants would waste energy thinking about him while he plotted his victory. He came across as somewhat evil on the show.

Last night Martha remarked that she thought that Jim must be faking. That it all must be an act. Why? Because Martha met Jim's beautiful wife and daughters, and in Martha's estimation, there was NO way that such a wonderful woman would ever marry Jim if he was really the kind of person he appeared to be on the show.

And that got me thinking...

Have you ever met a friend's boyfriend or girlfriend or spouse and wonder something like "What does she see in him?" Come on. I know you have. Or maybe you've just thought, "Wow. What an unlikely pair."

Both of these thoughts have crossed my mind before. And I have come to the following conclusion: The two people in that relationship must bring out something wonderful in one another...especially when they are alone together. There must be something that we don't know about that it makes everything fall into place.

Which brings me back to Jim, the wanna-be apprentice. He was a crazy caniving schemer on the show, but at home I bet he is a totally different guy.

Either that, or his wife needs therapy.

Happy Winter

2005-12-21T07:34:00.000-05:00

presentation at the UMASS sunwheel

Winter officially starts today at 1:35 PM. I guess this means that we have reached the shortest day of the year. And now, daylight hours will incrementally increase every day. Thank doG!!

Yesterday at 5:30 PM, I was ready for bed. Because it was so dark outside, I was ready to put on my PJs and get under the covers. I almost did. Seriously.

I cannot wait for the sunlight to come back!!

If you live in Amherst and drive by campus, have you seen that stonehenge like thing out behind the football field? Have you wondered what it is? It is a sunwheel. (like stonehenge was). If you have ever wondered about this structure on campus, today is your lucky day. At 3:30 PM tonight, there is a presentation and sunset viewing at the sunwheel to celebrate the winter solstice. There is also a sunrise presentation tomorrow at 7 AM and then another sunset presenstation viewing tomorrow afternoon at 3:30.

If you want a cliff's notes version of the story behind the winter solstice, visit Signalwriter for a really nice synopsis.

Happy Winter everyone!

Molasses and soy sauce flavored snow cone anyone?

2005-12-20T11:31:00.000-05:00

Has everyone been as busy this holiday season as I have? I realize that I have only written 3 blog entries since Thanksgiving! Every year seems to get more and more hectic doesn't it? Anyhoo.....

Yesterday, I was reading an interesting article in USA Today about Google...not about the price of Google stock, or the acquistion of shares of AOL by Google...but about how Google has become a daily part of life for many of us. I found myself nodding in agreement with the author as I read the article. I "google" everything: recipes (yes. I'm learning to cook. don't laugh), and general people, places, and things.

After I finished the article, I folded up the paper, put on my coat and gloves and headed out to walk across campus. Almost from the moment I stepped outside, I couldn't wait to get to my office to (you guessed it) look something up on Google. "Google what" you ask?

I wanted an answer to the following question:

What the heck is that brown s*&t they poor all over campus that is supposed to melt the ice and snow?

This is my third winter in Amherst. And this winter, like every winter, as I walk across the UMASS campus, I wonder about this.

If you have been on campus at all during the winter months, you know what I am talking about. It is brown and sticky like molasses, and smells like a chinese restaurant. And I'm sure you have had the same thought: I wonder what that s*&t is!

Well, wonder no more. I have the answer (at least if it is the same stuff they used during the winter of 2002). I typed the words molasses, University of Massachusetts, and snow into the search engine. Google returned about 150 entried, and I discovered that back in 2002, a representative from the physical plant described the concoction in The Chronicle (a now defunct campus publication).

According the archived article from 2002, this sticky smelly substance is called Ice B'Gone

"The main ingredient in Ice B'Gone is Ice Ban, a byproduct of distilling plants in the Midwest, which manufacture beer, other alcoholic beverages, and ethanol. It consists mainly of carbohydrates, protein, fat, and sugar, and is also used as a cattle feed substitute that looks and smells like molasses. Ice B'Gone, the product UMass Amherst is using, is a mixture of Ice Ban and magnesium chloride."

Almost good enough to eat! Come on, I dare you.

Here is your grade! (Oh, and Happy Holidays)

2005-12-12T11:20:00.000-05:00

I just saw this note on foundmagazine.com. It reminds me that my least favorite time of year is coming up. Grading. That time of year when all the students who I don't recognize (because they don't come to class) show up at my door to tell me that they will "do anything" to raise their grade. "Can I do extra credit?? Please??"

What could they "do" to raise their grade? Coming to class would have been a great start. I hate this time of year because I'm actually a huge softy. So while there is nothing I can do to help them (no extra credit, sorry), it makes me feel like a huge heel.

Happy Christma-Hana-Kwanz-ica!

2005-12-05T12:37:00.000-05:00

I'm jewish. So, it may surprise some of you to learn that I enjoy it when someone says "Merry Christmas" to me. I'm not annoyed. I'm not offended. And I, for one, am glad to hear that there is a little more "Christmas" in the holiday season advertisting from retailers this as pointed out in last Friday's USA Today.

Don't get me wrong. I prefer not to see a manger scene on the front lawn of my town courthouse. But a cheerful "Merry Christmas" never hurt anyone! It's not like I lose a little of my jewishness with every Christmas greeting or something.

Here in my department, a colleague organized a voluntary gift exchange. It is being called a "Secret Reindeer" instead of a "Secret Santa" exchange. I think that is just silly. I appreciate the level of sensitivity that went into choosing the name so as not to offend anyone or leave out non-christians. But I'd love to know what the difference is between Santa and his reindeer.

I mean, it's not like they are having a "my personal savior" gift exchange or something! It isn't even as if they are having a gift exchange inspired by the story of Saint Nicholas. I think things have gone way too far.

Welcome back!

2005-11-28T12:56:00.000-05:00

Welcome back. Another Thanksgiving behind us...

How was your Thanksgiving?

Mine was great. Except for the travel. O'Hare International Airport at Thanksgiving is an extra special treat that I would only wish on my sworn enemies.

There were no delays on the way in to Chicago before the holidays leading the Sun Times to publish this article. But, they had spoken too soon, and because of the rain and the fog, Sunday night was a traveler's nightmare.

Families traveling home with babies and toddlers, students on their way back to college, old, people, young people...when I got to my gate, they were strewn all over chairs and on every available space of carpet at the gate. My flight was supposed to take off at 8:49 PM. Needless to say, it didn't. When my plane finally touched down in Hartford I was greeted with the words:

"Welcome to Hartford where the local time is 1:47 AM. Needless to say, I'm a little tired this morning. But it could have been worse....

Medium in 3D Hit or Miss

2005-11-22T07:11:00.000-05:00

Well. I watched Medium in 3D last night. Not everything was in 3-D, just Allison's visions. So everytime you saw the 3D logo in the left-hand corner of the screen, you had to scramble to put your 3D glasses on, and then take them off after the scene was over.

It was a pain in the butt. All I could think of was the multitude of people all over the country putting the 3D glasses on and taking them off...putting them on...and taking the off...in unison. The execs at NBC must have been chuckling to themselves knowing that they got us all to do this for an hour. (Actually, I gave up about 1/2 way though the show).

Basically, they constructed scenes that would have an element that was oriented towards the viewer in order to take advantage of the 3D opportunity...a cigar sticking out of a character's mouth...a knife sticking out of a victim's back...you get the picture.

I liked the episode though. I love the Medium.

Make your own 3-D glasses for tonight's show!

2005-11-21T10:36:00.000-05:00

Don't want to miss out on tonight's 3-D experience, but can't get your hands on a TV-Guide for your 3-D glasses? Look no further! All you need is red and blue cellophane, scissors, and tape or glue (oh, and a printer of course). Go here for directions on how to make your own pair of 3-D Glasses. I found the link at XtineFiles. Thanks, Xtine!

Medium in 3-D

2005-11-21T07:32:00.000-05:00

I am a marketing professional's dream. I fall for everything. I buy things at the grocery store just because they are on sale; sometimes, I buy stuff I see on informercials; and yesterday, I bought a TV Guide. I don't need TV Guide because I have cable, and the menu is right on the television. I bought the TV Guide for the 3-D glasses.

Yup. That's right. 3-D glasses.

Tonight, the NBC drama Medium is going to be in 3-D, and I'm going to be prepared. TV Guide has just gone to full-size magazine format; and in an effort to get people to buy the magazine, they have done a cross-promotion with NBC and included the cardboard pieces to assemble your own pair of 3-D glasses. I put them together yesterday, and they are sitting on my nightstand in preparation for tonight's episode.

Medium is my favorite show. Ghost Whisper on CBS is a close second. I am a sucker for anything supernatural. I'll report back, and let you know how the episode is. I don't have high hopes. The last thing I saw in 3-D was Jaws III-D when I was a kid, and that was laughably disappointing.

ZooMASS: It's a Jungle Over Here

2005-11-18T10:25:00.000-05:00

According to a story in the Republican today, private security guards have been hired to police some of the UMASS residence halls. Seems that UMASS had the highest crime rate among all large universitys for 2002-2003. The HIGHEST. Did you know that? No? Neither did I.

The piece goes on to say that violence at UMASS has declined by 50% since then, but still. Wow. That's alarming.

There was a segment on Primetime last night about this, but I missed it--of course.

Is there really that much more violence at UMASS? Or is that other universities aren't reporting the way they should? And does it matter? A story in the Boston Globe yesterday has some interesting theories as to why UMASS's statistics look the way they do.

For students' perspectives check out the UMASS LiveJournal.

So now what are some creative ways that we can lower violence at UMASS? How about Hawiian Shirt Fridays or free coffee during morning classes? You don't think it will work? Well, I'm not sure that security guards stationed at the dorms will really work either. But maybe that's just me.

More Fun at the UMASS Campus Center

2005-11-17T10:48:00.000-05:00

So, here is another one from Craig's List "Missed Connections"

I knew there was another reason to like the campus center! But what I want to know is, what did this guy say about his ex-girlfriend and her "time of the month"?

Meeting on Neutral Territory

2005-11-16T11:02:00.000-05:00

I love walking through the UMASS campus center. I do so on my way back to my office after teaching class every monday, wednesday, and friday. I love it not for the decor (70s concrete), not for the food (cafeteria-style), but for the quasi-street fair atmosphere. For those of you who aren't at UMASS, the campus center main thorough-fair is often lined with tables. Tables are set up by student organizations, vendors, and clubs. You can buy cheap sunglasses and earrings, learn about the fencing club, or sign up for the next Habitat for Humanity spring break trip. The arrangement of tables (whether by chance or design) is always interesting, and makes for some great people watching.

Today the "Stop the Occupation of Iraq" table was right across from the "Air Force National Guard" table. So, on one side you see a pacifist in birkenstocks and long hair...and on the other, you see 3 uniformed clean-cut Air Force recruiters. When I walked through the hall a second time, one of the recruiters had crossed the border and was deep in conversation with the pacifist. I would love to have eavesdropped on that conversation...

On a related note, last spring I walked through the student center and spied the "Cannabis Reform Coalition" table, next to the "Chabad House" table. As I walked by, the orthodox jew was showing the cannabis guy how to wrap tefillin. It was surreal.

Wouldn't it be great if everyone with a strong viewpoint was forced to sit next to a person with a divergent view point on a regular basis?

Two Ships Pass in the Night at Panera Bread

2005-11-15T11:38:00.000-05:00

Craig's List is a cool site. Most of my friends who have rented an apartment in NYC or in San Fransisco found the listing on Craig's List. My cousin bought her vintage VW off of Craig's List, and I even know a woman who found her boyfriend there. It is brand new in Western Mass, so it isn't as fun to read as the larger metro versions of the site, but I still like to scan a section called "Missed Connections."

"Missed Connections" is an online version of that section in the newspaper classifieds where people write messages to that special someone who they made eye contact with, but missed the opportunity to say hello to. I find it both romantic and sad (since chances are that the object of their affection will probably never read the item). A generic example goes something like this: "The N/R train on Sunday around 10:30 AM. You in a blue shirt and ponytail reading Incredible Lightness of Being. Me, sitting across from you. I smiled and you smiled back, but you got off at Jay Street before I worked up the courage to talk to you..."

Today, I saw this ad on Craig's List:

Marist Rugby chic at Panera - w4w - 23
Reply to: mailto:pers-110957349@craigslist.org?subject=Marist%20Rugby%20chic
%20at%20Panera%20%2d%20w4w%20%2d%2023%20
Date:2005-11-13, 3:16PM EST
Dear Marist Rugby chic, I saw you smiling at me, or were you blushing? Not sure. Is that why you sat so close to me? Anyway, I thought you were cute which is why I smiled at you. The rugby shirt didn't hurt. You looked adorable in it. I liked the hair too. nice. Anyway, I get nervous around people who look like you which is why I didn't approach you. What's your excuse? You're friends were there for moral support. You should have gotten up and said hi. too bad...if you're ever in amherst again, look me up.

Here is the thing about this ad. I was at the Panera Bread when this was happening! There was a rugby match in town, and both the Marist team and the Army team ate at Panera and sat in the same section as me. I wish I was paying attention. It was right under my nose the whole time!

So Marist Rugby Chic, if you are reading (which I know you aren't) give this poor guy a shout out. I've included a convenient link for you above.

If it's stolen, it's not always gone forever

2005-11-15T09:04:00.000-05:00

Have you ever had your bike stolen? I've had 2 bikes stolen. One right out of my garage, and one from out in front of my house. The first one I put in to my renter's insurance and bought a brand new wonderful bike--and then that one got stolen about 4 years later. This time I didn't claim it on insurance, and now I'm sans bicycle. I figure if I can't keep my bikes locked up, I don't deserve to have one.

Anyway, if you've ever had your bike stolen, you'll know what I'm talking about when I share the following story:

When your bike has been stolen, you find yourself habitually looking at the bikes that people are riding--as if you will one day happen to see someone tooling around on your own bike. "Could that be my bike?" you think as you squint to make out the writing on the crossbar of the red bike the 13 year old kid is riding on the sidewalk as you drive by in your car. Of course, you know it will NEVER be your bike, but you look just the same.

Well, one day it WAS my bike. No joke.

When I was in college a friend, who was an avid cyclist, helped me pick out a bike. It was state of the art at the time. I was very proud of that bike, and rode it for the next 10 or 12 years. By the time it was stolen, it was pretty much the only one of its kind (at least in my neck of the woods). It was stolen right out of my car port. I reported it to the police, who actually came out to my apartment to take a report (I lived in a small suburb at the time, I guess they had nothing better to do). I filed a claim against my renter's insurance, and bought a new bike.

About a year and a half later, I was at a newstand not 2 blocks from my home when a kid rode by on a red bike. Out of habit, I looked at the bike to see if it was mine. AND IT WAS. No mistake. That kid was riding around on my stolen bike. All the times that I had examined the red bikes that rode past, I never stopped to think what I would do if I actually saw my bike!

The kid parked the bike outside of the newstand and walked in. I was paralyzed. What to do? I already claimed the bike on my insurance. So was it even mine anymore? But then I felt the old anger that I had felt the moment I realized someone had taken my bike in the first place. I walked up to the kid (he was probably around 14 or 15) and asked "Do you know that you are riding a stolen bicycle?"

HIM: Uh.....

ME: That bike...outside. It was stolen. Where did you get it?

HIM: Ummm...I bought it for $30 from a kid in East Haven. (A town about 5 miles away).

ME: Really? That's funny. It was stolen about 2 blocks from here. Look. I already claimed it on my renter's insurance. I have a new bike, so I guess I don't really care but...(and we began walking outside) You may want to be careful about riding it. The police were notified that it was stolen (as if they would pull him over for riding a stolen bicycle!).

I couldn't tell if he was telling the truth, or if he had stolen it himself. Either way, he knew it was stolen, and he knew that it was mine. I could tell he just wanted to get out of there. But, I was curious if he was actually going to get on that bike and ride away.

HIM: Here, do you want it?

ME: Yeah, actually I do. (and I got on the bike a rode it home).

It was the oddest experience.

photo by Found Magazine

If You Could Bring Three Things With You....

2005-11-02T10:44:00.000-05:00

Have you ever been asked the ever-popular icebreaker question:

If you were going to be stranded on a desert island, what three things would you bring?

I've had to answer that question at various points in my life. Orientation Day at grad school eons ago....a corporate retreat....a few other times...

I never know what to write. It's one of those catch-all questions that is supposed to say something about you. So there is a ton of pressure to come up with something profound. I don't even remember what my answers where...

I think if I were being truthful this time around, I would say:
1. A great book. One of those really long ones that I could savor over and over.
2. Pictures of my family
3. Sunblock

In today's USA TODAY Jennifer Anniston's list included:
1. The dog (her corgi-terrier mix Norman)
2. A good book
3. A pack of cigarettes

A pack of cigarettes? At least she was honest. Smokers seem to fall into two categories: Those who loathe that they smoke and wish they could quit, and those who love love love it.

I never took up smoking because I was afraid that once I was hooked, I would never be able to quit. And thank goodness. I'm not going to go on and on here about all the reasons that smoking will kill you (and turn your teeth yellow and wrinkle your skin). And I feel for the folks who really want to quit smoking. It is such a hard thing to do. I truly feel for people when they say that they hate the way it smells, they hate that they are hooked, but they just can't seem to kick the habit. I feel for smokers who have been exiled to "smoking areas," huddled outside in the bitter cold of winter gathered around in packs with their coats wrapped tightly and the fog of their breath in the air mingling with the smoke. They look miserable.

While I feel for the smokers who wish they could quit, I am utterly fascinated by the people who revel in their habit. I respect the fact that they are unapologetic about it. I met a guy at a party a few months ago. He explained to me how smoking just makes other activities better. He loves to write and smoke, drink and smoke, think and smoke. When he sits down to relax, it is that much sweeter if he has a cigarette in his hand. I don't get it. But it was clear from the way that he described it, that for him, it is 100% true. Inhaling tar makes the moment complete. And I don't mean that as some snarky dig. I know it isn't about the tar really, but some mixture of cultural mystic--a hint of James Dean, perhaps, or Jack Kerouac...I think I get it...in an abstract kind of way. I used to work with actors, and they would often adopt some physical habit in order to "inhabit" a particular character. By sitting a certain way or wearing a certain type of clothing, they were able to inhabit a certain head space. Maybe smoking is that way for some people.

I bet Jennifer Anniston will catch some flack for the fact that cigarettes made her "top 3" list.

What about you? What would you take with you if you were going to be stranded on a desert island?

photo by Sven

Wanna scare Chancellor Lombardi this Halloween?

2005-10-31T12:33:00.000-05:00

So what would be the scariest Halloween costume to a professor? According to today's article in Inside Higher Ed, the answer ranges from a "rejection letter" to an "interminable commencement speaker."

UMASS Chancellor Lombardi said the scariest visions he could imagine would be two people...

“in the costume of state and federal regulators, their clothing made of a special material that attracts large quantities of expensive paper, and carrying a sign with their motto: Inefficiency, Ineffectiveness, and No Innovation. A terrifying apparition to be sure."

Boo!

What's a Modern Girl to Do?

2005-10-30T10:41:00.000-05:00

This morning in the New York Times Magazine is a fascinating article by Maureen Dowd.

Here is an excerpt:

"At a party for the Broadway opening of "Sweet Smell of Success," a top New York producer gave me a lecture on the price of female success that was anything but sweet. He confessed that he had wanted to ask me out on a date when he was between marriages but nixed the idea because my job as a Times columnist made me too intimidating. Men, he explained, prefer women who seem malleable and awed. He predicted that I would never find a mate because if there's one thing men fear, it's a woman who uses her critical faculties. Will she be critical of absolutely everything, even his manhood?
He had hit on a primal fear of single successful women: that the aroma of male power is an aphrodisiac for women, but the perfume of female power is a turnoff for men. It took women a few decades to realize that everything they were doing to advance themselves in the boardroom could be sabotaging their chances in the bedroom, that evolution was lagging behind equality.
A few years ago at a White House correspondents' dinner, I met a very beautiful and successful actress. Within minutes, she blurted out: "I can't believe I'm 46 and not married. Men only want to marry their personal assistants or P.R. women."
I'd been noticing a trend along these lines, as famous and powerful men took up with young women whose job it was was to care for them and nurture them in some way: their secretaries, assistants, nannies, caterers, flight attendants, researchers and fact-checkers."

So, I'm wondering if this is true. Can successful single women blame their singleton status on their careers? Or is it the fact that when forced to choose between a relationship and pursuing their career, they choose their career? And do men really prefer a woman who is not their equal when it comes to intellect? Or ambition?

I think its kind of a cop out for women to make that assumption. But what do I know...

Oh, No! Not Rambo!!

2005-10-28T21:43:00.000-04:00

Doesn't Sylvester Stallone know that I was kidding last month when I said that my life would only be complete if he made another Rambo movie??!!!

Hot off the presses:

Stallone back in combat for fourth 'Rambo'

The franchise that drew "First Blood" is back with a fourth installment. Millennium Films in conjunction with Emmett/Furla Films and Equity Pictures are partnering on a $50 million "Rambo IV." Sylvester Stallone is attached to star. The story centers on former Vietnam vet John Rambo, who is living a reclusive life back home in the U.S. But when a girl goes missing, he is forced to abandon his quiet lifestyle and take justice into his own hands. No director is attached, and the screenplay is in the early stages. (Tatiana Siegel) FULL STORY

Unbelievable.

New Excuse for Missing an Exam: My Dad Won the Powerball

2005-10-28T07:29:00.000-04:00

As a graduate student, I think I have heard every undergraduate excuse for missing exams. In addition to the usual reasons for missing exams (illness, death in the family), I've heard some doosies including student last year who missed a major exam because he went to the World Series Champion parade in Boston to honor the Red Sox (his dead grandfather would have wanted him to go).

But "my dad won $340 million?" That's a new one!

"I'm so happy, I could kiss you!"

2005-10-27T10:17:00.000-04:00

Chicago White Sox manger Ozzie Guillen, left, gets a kiss from a well-wisher after the White Sox defeated the Houston Astros 1-0 in Game 4 to win the World Series for the first time since 1917, Wednesday, Oct. 26, 2005, in Houston.

I'm from Chicago. I should be thrilled about the White Sox win. And I am happy for them. I promise. Of course, not quite as happy as the fan in the picture (I wish I had a picture of the moment after this photo was taken)

But when the Cubs go to the World Series, I'm gonna have a week-long party.

Invasion of the Pod People

2005-10-25T09:20:00.000-04:00

I have discovered podcasts. Have you? I'm behind the curve on this one for sure. If you are even more behind the times than I am and don't know what a podcast is, it is an itunes video or audio clip available on the web for download or streaming. Much like blogs allow wannabe journalists such as myself to "publish" a daily column, podcasts allow people to broadcast their own radio or television shows.

I am fascinated. Last week, I listened to a guy drive through the North Shore suburbs of Chicago (where I grew up). He just drove around and talked about what he was seeing. I listened to the whole 20 minutes. He talked about a whole lot of nothing, but I was captivated. I couldn't turn the thing off.

Podcasts are a global phenomenon, and have even caught on in China as described by this NY Times piece last Friday.

According to Thomas L. Friedman:

Another favorite is a podcast by two Chinese architecture students in Houston Rockets jerseys (the team of the Chinese N.B.A. star Yao Ming) who lip-sync a Backstreet Boys tune.

I watched this podcast. I was totally fascinated. You can watch the aforementioned podcast here. You can watch a different podcast by the same two students here

If Wayne and Garth were broadcasting today, I'm sure it would be a podcast.

"Shopping is Hopping in Buffalo"

2005-10-24T10:34:00.000-04:00

OK. So you might be asking...Why am I blogging about Buffalo, NY of all places?

I lived there for a few years. Shhh. Don't tell anyone.

Don't get me wrong. People who live in Buffalo absolutely love it there. And my brother-in-law, who grew up there, is a die-hard Buffalo Bills fan. People who grew up there often return after college, which says a lot about the place.

But I didn't grow up there. It is where I went "home" to during breaks from school. My parents lived in a suburb of Buffalo while I was in college. So instead of going home at Christmas break to visit my family in wonderful CHICAGO (where I had grown up), I travelled to East Amherst, NY.

My mother would say, "When you come home, we can go shopping!" and I always wanted to say "You couldn't PAY me to go shopping in Buffalo."

So today, when I read about Buffalo in USA Today, I just knew I had to share.

It turns out that now Buffalo wants to pay people to shop there! The Buffalo Niagara Convention and Visitor's Bureau is giving people $50 to spend in Buffalo shops and malls...not just anyone, though. They want to pay Canadians to cross the border and shop there--which is ironic since I always felt that the best thing about Buffalo shopping was TORONTO.

The new slogan, designed to entice Canadians to make a run for the border is:

"Shopping is Hopping in Buffalo"

Ken Wants to Win Barbie Back....

2005-10-23T10:22:00.000-04:00

...and he is willing to undergo a makeover to do it!

Watching CBS Sunday Morning today, I learned that Barbie and Ken may be getting back together. She dumped him last year because he wasn't exciting enough (or because he wouldn't commit), and started dating new beau Blaine.In a story today in the Sunday Telegraph, Ken spoke through his publicist at Mattel toys and offered this statement:

"My new look will be something very now. My style will reflect my personality and will change with my mood on any given day...Time apart has helped me to realize what's important. Barbie is the love of my life."

Barbie and Ken were together for 43 years, and their breakup two days before Valentine's Day in 2004 came as a shocker to those of us who grew up with Barbie and Ken because they symbolized happily-ever-after. All of us dreamed of meeting our own "Ken" and driving off into the sunset in Ken's sportscar to our own Barbie Dreamhouse. Does anyone else remember the Barbie airplane (when Barbie was a flight attendant)? Barbie and Ken took off for exotic locales right from the airport on the floor of my childhood bedroom. My Barbie and Ken went on Love Boat cruises together, and long drives down the Pacific Coast Highway...and they kissed. All the time.

Well, 43 years after meeting, Ken was still reluctant to get married, and Barbie dumped him for Blaine, the australian boogie-boarder.

Now, Ken has seen the error of his ways, wants her back and is willing to do anything to do it. Isn't that they way it always goes? Barbie has moved on. After 43 years of waiting for Ken to "close the deal"--Barbie finally gave up. She met someone new and went on with her life. So of course, NOW is the time that Ken is going to make a play.

I hope she doesn't take him back. But I think she will. Barbie sales at Mattel are down by 33%. The pressure is on. Like Nick and Jessica (gawker.com), I think Barbie and Ken may play the happy couple for the sake of the commercial empire.

Lottery Update: "Even senators can be lucky!"

2005-10-20T21:28:00.000-04:00

Our mystery lottery winner is still rummaging through his trash looking for his ticket, but one of the second-place winners (a players who matched all of the numbers except for the powerball) has come forward--New Hampshire senator Judd Gregg!

The millionaire politician has won over $850,000. And while the IRS will get about 25% of that, New Hampshire has no state income tax!

Read the CNN story here.

photo by srish

Someone in Oregon Had a Great Day

2005-10-20T10:01:00.000-04:00

So, someone in Orgeon won 340 million dollars yesterday in the Power Ball lottery.

The winner beat 1 in 146 million odds. The winner hasn't come forward yet. I wonder what that person is doing right now. Probably talking to a lawyer, I imagine. Or maybe rummaging through the trash because he can't find his ticket. Now that would really be a bummer.

I love reading or watching morning talk shows when lottery winners are featured. Do you remember the bowling team who won together? Or what about the group of elementary school teachers? There was the homeless guy. And what about the person who won TWO lotteries a few years apart?

What would you do with $340 million (or $340 million dollars minus taxes)?

Stuffing the Ballot Boxes

2005-10-18T10:49:00.000-04:00

Iraq has voted for a new constitution...or have they?

On the Today Show this morning, I heard that some officials in Iraq are complaining that in certain polling locations, there were more "Yes" votes for the constitution than there were voters!

And we thought the "hanging chad" debacle of 2000 was bad.

Here is today's New York Times story about the controversy.

photo by fortune cookie

Rocky Wins the 'Olden Gloves

2005-10-18T08:32:00.000-04:00

Could I really be ahead of the curve? Remember my Rocky 6 celebration a week ago?

Yesterday, the Associated Press reported on the Rocky 6 sequel. Turns out that instead of "Yo, Adrian." It's "NO Adrian." In the new sequel scheduled to begin filming this winter, Rocky will be a 60 year-old widower who takes on the current heavyweight champion in the ring.

According to a story in today's Daily News, Stallone said:

"I am drawing on a lot of my feelings that are in synch with many people's feelings about facing the last chapter of their lives and how they want it to be written. Rocky goes through the skepticism of trying to go against the tide, to go against common sense."

Yeah.

Well, the character of Rocky Balboa was never the sharpest pencil in the box. It's actually something that I liked about him when I saw my one and only Rocky movie (the original). I thought it was great that even a dumb guy can live his dream. But this new plot is kind of bizarre, don't you think? Rocky deals with the "skepticism of trying to go against the tide?" I guess that "going against the tide" is one way to put at it....

The thing I really take exception with in this quote, however, is the idea that a person who is 60 is in the "last chapter of their lives." Huh?!?! I hope my father isn't reading this right now. I think he might have a few choice words for Mr. Stallone.

But that leads me to something I've been thinking about for a while now...

Did you ever notice how every morning you look in the mirror, you look the same to yourself? It's difficult to notice yourself aging, right? But, now that some television actors from classic television shows of the 60s, 70s, and 80s are back on network television, I am reminded of the passage of time. Have you seen Henry Winkler (the Fonz) on the new show, Out of Practice?

or William Shatner (Captain Kirk) on Boston Legal?

Alec Baldwin, who used to be a hottie (remember the movies Prelude to a Kiss and Beetlejuice?) is looking positively geriatric on Will & Grace.

Even Doogie Houser, MD is looking a little long in the tooth in the new show How I Met Your Mother.

Time Marches on.

Laundry Karma

2005-10-17T02:34:00.000-04:00

Reading this note found in a dorm laundry room in Bronxville, NY (Sarah Lawrence College, no doubt), from foundmagazine.com brought back a flood of memories. Of all the things about dorm life thatI disliked as an undergrad, "doing laundry" topped the list. Is there anyone reading this right now who survived life in a college dorm who doesn't have a laundry room horror story to tell?

At the University of Massachusetts, there is a dorm complex called Southwest. It is so large, that it has a city council representative all to itself. I had heard once that it even has its own zipc code, but I don't think that's true. Anyway, doing laundry there must be a real drag.

When I was an undergraduate living in the dorms, I dreaded laundry day. You literally had to camp out in a damp, dank, basement to babysit your laundry. Once, I left the room for a few minutes to get a soda out of the vending machine, and when I walked back into the room, some one had pulled my half-dry clothes out of the dryer in mid-cycle, to put their laundry in the machine. It was a dryer hijacking!

I've never been in a cat-fight, but I got close that day...

Would You Mind Watching My Stuff for a Minute?

2005-10-16T08:12:00.000-04:00

In the Sunday Times Magazine, there is a great column by Randy Cohen called the Ethicist. Do you read it? Basically, readers write into Cohen and pose an ethical question. He answers. Oftentimes, the questions are really something to chew on. The answers could go either way. But here is a question from today:

A woman sitting near me in a local coffee shop asked me to watch her things for a few minutes while she went across the street to her home. She said she wouldn't leave anything valuable. She was gone for over an hour, returning as I was about to ask someone else nearby to take over the surveillance and then leave myself. Would I have been wrong to do so? Melinda Campopiano, Pittsburgh

We've all been asked to "watch someone's stuff for a minute," and we've all asked people to do that, right? So that we can go up to the counter to buy a cup of coffee...or run out to our car because we forgot something? But for over an hour??! Of course, Cohen told Melinda that she was absolutely under no obligation to continue to babysit the woman's stuff.

I think of myself as a considerate person. But, if it were me, I would just bring the stuff up to the counter and tell the person behind the counter that I had to leave. When the woman comes back, isn't that the first place she would go if she didn't see you?

The fact that Melinda was even worried about this woman's stuff just goes to prove one thing, though...

Pittsburghers are way nicer than us.

photo by karlcow

Don't You Just Love a Bargain?

2005-10-15T07:58:00.000-04:00

The new Jib Jab animated short, Big Box Mart, has arrived! While previous Jib Jab cartoons have skewered politics, the group has now turned its satirical eye towards mega retailers, overseas outsourcing, and American consumerism. Check it out if you have a chance.

There is a moment in the cartoon where our "everyman" shops at "Big Box Mart" and places a useless knick-knack in his shopping cart. His choice of purchase is supposed to appear a little over-the-top. But, for those of you who live in New England, I have one thing to say: Christmas Tree Shops.

Have you seen the Christmas Tree Shop commercials?

For those of you who don't live here, you should know that the name of this discount store is misleading. They don't just sell Christmas stuff there. They sell useless knick-knacks all year long. Their slogan is "Don't you just love a bargain," and the commercials showcase real Christmas Tree Shop customers looking at the in-store circular and showing off all the amazing "bargains" in their shopping cart.

Each commercial showcases a different group of shoppers, but they all share one thing--an anxious quality. It's like these customers are addicts, and they are at the Christmas Tree Shop for their fix.

"These little ceramic ghouls for Halloween are only $2.99 a piece! So I'm buying 20 of them! And look at this jack-o-lantern chip and dip set! $8.99. I just have to have it! Don't you just love it?!?!!! I love it!!!"

When I look at the stuff, all I see is this customer's future yard sale. I'm not kidding. And I guarantee that this is exactly where these purchases are going to end up a few years from now.

Of course, I'm sitting here all smug, but I am not immune to impulse buys. You know those small items at the check-out line? I have a mini flashlight, a pocket stapler, and an extra deck of playing cards collecting dust in my kitchen junk drawer.

If you are interested, you can buy them at my next yard sale.

"Why, why, why??"

2005-10-14T07:53:00.000-04:00

I adore the Great American musical. I am really excited about the upcoming opening of the movie Rent based on the hit broadway musical, and I am especially excited because so many of the cast members are from the original broadway cast.

Conversely, I think I'll skip Nancy and Tonya: the Opera which will be produced at Tufts this spring. Ahhh...The "whack" heard 'round the world. For those who don't know about this tawdry incident in the world of figure skating, you can read about it here.

Cliff's Notes Version of the Nancy and Tonya Incident

In 1994, Tonya Harding (a talented ice skater from the wrong side of the tracks) and her husband (with a last name that reminds me of "gigolo") hired a couple of bungling idiots to trail American Sweetheart Nancy Kerrigan (a talented ice skater from Massachusetts) and to "take her out" (well, not kill her, but maim her by injuring her "landing leg"). The moment that Nancy lay clutching her knee in an ice rink hallway wailing "whyyyy, whyyyyy, whyyy???", figure skating was catapulted to prime time. Nancy went on to come in second in the olympics (pouting all the way to the medal podium), Tonya came in eighth and then was banned from competitive figure skating for life. To this day, Tonya claims that she was an unwilling participant in the whole debacle (it was all her husband's idea).

The fact that I can recount this whole sordid saga from memory goes to show you how saturated the media was with this story. By the end of it, I was just as sick of the whole thing as everyone else. But...I will admit, I'm curious to know where they are now. Aren't you?

Toyna Harding: Where is she now?

I found this Willamette Week Online story about Tonya. Here is an excerpt:

"...Over the next 11 years, Tonya occasionally popped up in the press, hitting her boyfriend with a hubcap, sliding her truck into a ditch, beating the tar out of Paula Jones in a celebrity-boxing match and, of course, still answering for her role in the Kerrigan saga...

...After her March 2002 bout with Jones, she began to train six days a week under the tutelage of ex-boxer--and mortician--Paul Brown, who has worked with heavyweights such as Leon Spinks...

..In addition, Harding has taken up archery and prefers a Martin compound bow, with which she can pierce a heart-sized target at 50 yards."

Nancy Kerrigan: Where is she now?

According to Variety, she is going to participate in a figure skating version of Dancing with the Stars entitled Skating with Celebrities. Nancy will be paired with Dave Coulier (Full House, Surreal Life, and the topic of Alanis Morrisette's hit song from the '90s, "You outta know"). The show will not air on ABC which brought us Dancing, but will air on Fox (which is copying a show idea yet again). But I digress.

She is still skating in professional ice shows, and--get this---has recorded a song for a Tina Turner tribute album. From folks who have heard her rendition of "The Best," it sounds like Nancy should stick to skating.

So there you have it.

"Why Buy When You Can Borrow?"

2005-10-13T08:13:00.000-04:00

You can lease your car...How about renting your purse?

According to an article today in the Boston Globe, this is exactly what many women are doing through companies such as Bag Borrow or Steal and From Bags to Riches. As one of the websites asks:

"Why buy when you can borrow?"

To me, this works for books. The library is great! Why? Because I rarely read a book more than once. Same thing goes for movies. I have a few favorite movies on DVD, but otherwise I rent. But clothes and handbags?

Maybe I'm not the right person to ask though. Don't get me wrong, I believe that a great handbag is the perfect accessory. And I have a few bags in my closet that I absolutely love. But chances are I bought them at TJ Maxx or Marshall's. I wouldn't buy a $2000 hand bag even if I had the money. Do you know there are handbags that cost $15,000? You can buy a new car for that price!

This trend in borrowing-as-a-lifestyle is everywhere all of a sudden. Napster's new ad slogan is

"own nothing, have everything."

Where is all this going?

There is something weird to me about the whole thing. It somehow seems artificial to me, but I can't figure out why. Can someone explain this "rental" phenomenon to me?

Adriaaaaannnnn!!!!!

2005-10-12T10:32:00.000-04:00

I grew up with Star Wars, and athough the movies were short on character development and packed full of cliche, I adored them. So when the lights came up in the movie theatre after the final credits rolled for "The Revenge of the Sith," I felt a sense of closure, but also a little sadness. Star Wars was over. There was a bit of a void.

Now, a movie is coming along to fill the empty space in my heart.

This just in from comingsoon.net:

In the film, lonely and retired boxer Rocky Balboa comes out of retirement, intending to fight a few low-profile local fights just to keep his hand in. But when he's approached to fight a match with reigning heavyweight champ Mason "The Line" Dixon, Rocky's modest little comeback becomes the center of a media firestorm.

Apparently, Rocky 6 begins filming in December.

Now, all I need is a Rambo sequel, and my life will be complete.

The Sky is Falling!

2005-10-11T09:06:00.000-04:00

In a story on the coyote that attacked a 76 year-old man and his grandson in Massachusetts, the Associated Press reports that coyotes are an "increasingly common presence in the suburbs."

That's kind of alarming isn't it? But before you go out and purchase a shotgun to protect yourself, think about this: did you know that you are 100's of times more likely to be killed by the neighbor's dog, then by a coyote? And far more likely to catch rabies from a pet than from a coyote? In fact, you are far more likely to contract rabies from your cat than from a coyote. In the past 12 years of lab testing in Massachusetts, 110 cats tested positive for rabies compared to 6 coyotes and 6 dogs.

What is it with news stories these days? It's as if the newspapers and news programs are in the business of trying to scare us to death.

Let's get some perspective!

I first noticed this phenomenon shortly after the 9/11 attacks. Like many people, I became fearful. I felt unsafe. I worried about a terrorist attack. How could I prepare? Should I have bottled water in my apartment? Should I purchase duct-tape for the windows in case of a chemical attack?

Then I was reminded by a very level-headed friend, that if I wanted to give myself the best possible chance of a long and happy life, I should channel my energy elsewhere. Since I had a much better chance of prematurely dying in a car accident or of a disease than I did in a terrorist attack, the best way to increase my chances of long life was to wear my seatbelt, look both ways before I crossed the street, eat right, and exercise.

Sounds like a plan.

photo by SuperDaveNM

A Toast to the Happy Couple

2005-10-10T08:26:00.000-04:00

OK...I'll admit it. I love reading the wedding announcements in the New York Times on sundays.

They always read something like this:

The bride, 28, graduated magna cum laude in 3 years from Harvard, and is an associate with the the best law firm in New York City! Her father invented aspirin, and her mother is the president of a greeting card company franchised in 48 states. The groom, 30, is a novelist on the NY Times best seller list. His father performed the first successful double lung transplant, and his mother is a philanthropist who hosted Princess Diana at intimate dinner parties in their $2 million upper east side apartment. The couple will honeymoon in Fiji and will reside in New York City.

Alright, so that is a bit of an exaggeration, but you get my drift. They are always people I don't know, from New York City or Los Angeles. Yesterday, I was pleasantly surprised to read a wonderful announcement for a couple from the Pioneer Valley. No, I don't know them, either. But aren't they fabulous?

Martha Jeanne Nelson and Laura Louise Patrick are to be married today at the Pines Theater in Look Park in Northampton, Mass. The Rev. Arthur Lavoie, a Unitarian Universalist minister, is to officiate.

Ms. Nelson (above, left), 42, will be known as Martha Nelson Patrick. She is the director of community relations at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst. She graduated cum laude from Smith College. She was the founder and owner of Pride and Joy, a gay and lesbian gift store in Northampton. Her first marriage ended in divorce.

She is a daughter of Sandra Bruce Campbell of Easthampton, Mass., and John R. Nelson Jr. of Amherst. Her father is an English professor at the university. Her mother retired as the counsel for the Chicopee Housing Authority in Massachusetts. She is a stepdaughter of Irene Nelson and of Johnstone Campbell.

Ms. Patrick, 43, is an immigration paralegal at Curran & Berger, a law firm in Northampton. She graduated from Sarah Lawrence College.

She is the daughter of Gloria Hoye Scott of New York and the late Leonard Allen Patrick. Her father was a stage manager for the original Broadway production of "Death of a Salesman," at the Morosco Theater in 1949 and 1950. Her mother, an actress known as Gloria Hoye, appeared in "Law & Order" and in "Somerset," a 1970's soap opera. She is now a landscape designer in New York.

Congratulations Laura and Martha!

Engagement photo by Jeannie Riley
Photo at top by andyproctor

Happy Birthday, John Lennon

2005-10-09T08:47:00.000-04:00

Today would have been John Lennon's 65th birthday.

photo by frenchy_rjp

How Many People Does it Take to Change a Nickle?

2005-10-09T08:14:00.000-04:00

Doesn't the new nickel look spiffy? And is it my imagination or does Jefferson look like he might be in a better mood than he has been in before?

Do you know that a law had to be passed by Congress to change the nickel, and, as with every bill that becomes law, the President of the United States had to approve it? A panel for the National Endowment for the Arts evaluated the candidants for the new design, and then the 12 most promising designs were reviewed by the Commission of Fine Arts and the Citizens Coinage Advisory Committee. Finally, the Secretary of the Treasury took these recommendations before choosing the final design.

You can read the press release from the Treasury here.

It sounds like one of those "light-bulb jokes"....

How many public servants does it take to change a nickel?

Tick...tick...tick...

2005-10-07T02:11:00.000-04:00

Insomnia.

Isn't it the worst? Tossing and turning, wide awake. You look at the clock...1:00 AM. And you do the math in your head... "If I go to sleep right now I will get 5 hours of sleep."...You look at the clock again 1:10 AM..."If I go to sleep right now I will get 4 hours and 50 minutes of sleep."

I shouldn't have had that large cup of coffee at Rao's at 9:30 PM....but, I needed a little jolt. I was tired! What was I thinking?!?!

So what is a girl to do at 1:15 AM? Let's check out the CampusCam!

What is this, you ask? A picture of a crowded club? Well...yes and no. If you have ever been in downtown Amherst when the bars let out, you know what I am talking about. It's Amherst's own unofficial after-party known as "Club Sidewalk." This photo is taken from a masslive survelliance camera perched above the sidewalk outside of Antonio's Pizza on North Pleasant Street in downtown Amherst. At anytime, you can go to www.masslive.com and watch a minute-by-minute 24-hour photo or video-feed of this very spot.

Speaking of Club Sidewalk, there is a new UMASS Online Magazine by the same name, www.clubsidewalk.com, launched this fall by recent UMASS grads. Check it out.

Well, it is 2:10 AM, and I'm finally starting to get sleepy (maybe I'm boring myself!). As you can see from the photo above, even the partiers have gone home for the night.

If I fall asleep in the next 5 minutes, I'll be able to get 3 hours and 50 minutes of sleep.

Tomorrow is going to be a looonng day....

photo at top by olibrius

Does your "dorm" have maid service?

2005-10-06T09:29:00.000-04:00

Isn't staying in a hotel great? You never have to make your own bed, you always have fresh towels, and you never run out of hot water in the shower...

Wait...before you answer that question, maybe we should ask the 59 UMASS students who have been staying at the HoJo's on Route 9 since the beginning of the semester. According to today's Daily Collegian, a housing shortage means that these students will be living in the hotel until December.

Imagine this: You plan for your first semester at college. You look forward to campus life--meeting your roommate and all the people on your dorm floor. You go shopping at Target for all the dorm room must-haves. You can't wait!

But there is a catch. There is no room for you. When you get to Amherst, you move into a hotel off-campus. Any day now a room will open up, and you will move in. You keep your bags packed. It's only going to be a few days after all...

It looks like it's time to unpack. You are going to be there a while.

To add insult to injury...

Yesterday, USA Today published its survey of over 60 flagship state schools around the country. Did you know that UMASS-Amherst is one of the top ten most expensive state schools in the nation for in-state students? With an increase of over 40% since 2002, it costs over $9,000 to attend.

For the kid's at Hojo's, that's really gotta smart...

Any Takers?

2005-10-05T07:02:00.000-04:00

I guess this guy has never heard of eharmony.com.....

www.foundmagazine.com

Chewing Gum Nation

2005-10-04T10:23:00.000-04:00

Too many chewing gums to choose from and too little time. Wrigley's has nearly 40 choices of chewing gum. Can you believe that?? And that is just one company! I'm almost paralyzed with indecision whenever I try to choose a pack of gum at the local CVS!

I never considered myself a follower or particularly susceptible to consumer marketing. But my new gum "habit" has me rethinking that. I never used to be a gum chewer. It started innocently enough. First it was just a piece of gum every now and then when a friend offered me one. Then I would buy a pack whenever I was in the checkout line at the supermarket. Now I have gum everywhere--in my office desk, my purse, my gymbag, the glove compartment of my car....

There has been a virtual explosion of chewing gum flavors. I think it has to do with the fact that the U.S. has become a country obsessed with white teeth and fresh breathe. Also with smoking banned in so many public places and companies even refusing to hire smokers, more and more people are choosing to pop a piece of gum in their mouth rather than light up.

We are becoming a gum-chewing nation.

...now I'm craving a piece of gum. Excuse me while I enjoy a mouthful of Dentyne Ice Arctic Chill...

photo by angstidentprone

August Wilson (1945 - 2005)

2005-10-03T07:04:00.000-04:00

I woke up to the news this morning that Pulizter Prize-winning playwright August Wilson has died at the age of 60. He succumbed to liver cancer. Charles Isherwood has written a thorough and very thoughtful obituary for the NY Times. Chris Rawson has also written a noteworthy obituary for the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. Rawson's piece shares recent conversations with the playwright, as well as with his sister, Frieda, who still lives in August's hometown of Pittsburgh, the city that serves as the backdop for 9 of his 10 plays.

I had the distinct pleasure of working with August for a short time in 1996. Although I do not have the words right now to adequately communicate my thoughts about August as a person and as an artist, I would like to share his words with you.

He gave me a children's book as a gift. It was actually my favorite book as a child. I had shared that tidbit with him during one of our numerous afternoons together. The book was entitled Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst.

In the book, Alexander is having a very bad day. It all starts when he wakes up with gum in his hair, and the whole day goes from bad to worse. So many of the childhood calamities that we stress about as elementary school children befall this little boy all in one day (getting in trouble in school, falling out of favor with his best friend, going to the dentist...and on and on). He keeps threathening to move to Australia. But his mother tells him that "some days are just like that...even in Australia."

August said to me that, just like Alexander, the character of Youngblood in his play Jitney is also having a "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day" where no matter how much he tries, everything goes wrong, and he feels terribly misunderstood. A few weeks after that conversation, I came into work, and the book was sitting on my desk. I was very touched that he had given me my very own copy of my favorite book from my childhood. On the inside cover, he had written an inscription:

May all your days be awesome, adventurous, exciting and very blessed--August Wilson

You affected countless people with the plays you wrote, August. You chronicled a century of African-American experience, and you made it our experience. Thank you for an awesome, exciting, and very blessed adventure in the theatre.

Equal Rights for All

2005-10-02T08:22:00.000-04:00

Have you seen the new TV ad for the Sony Bravia? It is a new flat screen television. The ad calls the Bravia the "world's first television for men AND women"....??!!!! Equal rights for all! What a relief...I've always felt like a second class citizen when it came to media equipment. Now my life is complete.

Save Waldo!!

2005-09-30T07:59:00.000-04:00

Did you know that ever since 1982, the last week in September has been "Banned Book Week"?

A "banned" book is a piece of literature that has been "challenged" and then successfully removed from public libraries or schools. When I read the list of the 100 most frequently challenged books, I was amazed. On that list of the most often "challenged" works are some of the books that made the largest impact on me as a child and young adult. Did you read Judy Blume books as a kid or young teenager? Many of them are on the list. What about "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" and "Tom Sawyer?" Yep. They are, too.

Even "Where's Waldo?" is on the list! No, you aren't seeing things. There are parents who don't want their children to read "Where's Waldo?". Why? Nudity! Yes, that is right. Naked cartoon characters!! GASP!! The horror!

But seriously, it amazes me that I live in a country where someone would actually challenge "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings" by Maya Angelo.

So I am sure you are asking..."I wonder...what was the most challenged book of 2004?" (and if you aren't, I am going to tell you anyway). The most challenged book of 2004 was "The Chocolate War" by Robert Cormier. It is found on school curriculums for 9th and 10th graders. Did you ever read that book? I did. It is a story about a boy who "dares to disturb the universe" when he refuses to participate in a school fundraiser selling chocolates. The reason that this book is challenged so often is because of violent content and objectionable language. At a time in our lives when we most want to fit in and be accepted by our peers, the protagonist of the story, Jerry Renault, shows us that even young people can stand up for what they believe in.

Just look at the list. I'm telling you...you will be blown away.

photo by muckster

Belle of the Blog

2005-09-29T11:32:00.000-04:00

I want to be the Belle of the Blog!

I live in New England, a few miles away from the home of Emily Dickinson, the Belle of Amherst, and a female poet for all time.

Welcome to my musings from Amherst, MA.