UMASS Outlaws Beer Pong

It is the first day of classes for the spring semester, here at UMASS. There is a special feeling in the air today. The undergrads are back, and will undoubtably put the "Zoo" back in ZooMass.

But just in case, they have any funny ideas about...oh, I don't know...partying, the UMASS adminstration wants everyone to know that even if they are 21, they are being watched.

So let this be a warning to all of you...Even if you are 21

• Beer pong and other drinking games are, henceforth, banned.
• Regardless of your age, you can not have more than 12 cans or bottles of beer in your dorm room.
• You can not have more than one bottle of liquor or 2 bottles of wine at any one time.
• No taps
• No funnels
• No more than 10 people drinking together in one place.

That's right, folks. Not only is this true, but what is so surprising is that it is national news.

I'm not sure what they hope to accomplish with these new rules. I spent my undergrad years on a dry campus (meaning NO alcohol regardless of one's age). That didn't stop anyone from doing any of the above listed activities. Heck, a few years ago, it was named the #1 party school in the nation by USA Today.

So what is this going to change? Really? They'll just smuggle cases of beer into the dorms in their suitcases and drink behind closed doors like they did in high school. Worse yet, they'll probably be more likely to drive to off-campus house parties.

And I don't think any new rules are going to tame Southwest.

photo by Doktor