If You Could Bring Three Things With You....

Have you ever been asked the ever-popular icebreaker question:

If you were going to be stranded on a desert island, what three things would you bring?

I've had to answer that question at various points in my life. Orientation Day at grad school eons ago....a corporate retreat....a few other times...

I never know what to write. It's one of those catch-all questions that is supposed to say something about you. So there is a ton of pressure to come up with something profound. I don't even remember what my answers where...

I think if I were being truthful this time around, I would say:
1. A great book. One of those really long ones that I could savor over and over.
2. Pictures of my family
3. Sunblock

In today's USA TODAY Jennifer Anniston's list included:
1. The dog (her corgi-terrier mix Norman)
2. A good book
3. A pack of cigarettes

A pack of cigarettes? At least she was honest. Smokers seem to fall into two categories: Those who loathe that they smoke and wish they could quit, and those who love love love it.

I never took up smoking because I was afraid that once I was hooked, I would never be able to quit. And thank goodness. I'm not going to go on and on here about all the reasons that smoking will kill you (and turn your teeth yellow and wrinkle your skin). And I feel for the folks who really want to quit smoking. It is such a hard thing to do. I truly feel for people when they say that they hate the way it smells, they hate that they are hooked, but they just can't seem to kick the habit. I feel for smokers who have been exiled to "smoking areas," huddled outside in the bitter cold of winter gathered around in packs with their coats wrapped tightly and the fog of their breath in the air mingling with the smoke. They look miserable.

While I feel for the smokers who wish they could quit, I am utterly fascinated by the people who revel in their habit. I respect the fact that they are unapologetic about it. I met a guy at a party a few months ago. He explained to me how smoking just makes other activities better. He loves to write and smoke, drink and smoke, think and smoke. When he sits down to relax, it is that much sweeter if he has a cigarette in his hand. I don't get it. But it was clear from the way that he described it, that for him, it is 100% true. Inhaling tar makes the moment complete. And I don't mean that as some snarky dig. I know it isn't about the tar really, but some mixture of cultural mystic--a hint of James Dean, perhaps, or Jack Kerouac...I think I get it...in an abstract kind of way. I used to work with actors, and they would often adopt some physical habit in order to "inhabit" a particular character. By sitting a certain way or wearing a certain type of clothing, they were able to inhabit a certain head space. Maybe smoking is that way for some people.

I bet Jennifer Anniston will catch some flack for the fact that cigarettes made her "top 3" list.

What about you? What would you take with you if you were going to be stranded on a desert island?

photo by Sven

Wanna scare Chancellor Lombardi this Halloween?

So what would be the scariest Halloween costume to a professor? According to today's article in Inside Higher Ed, the answer ranges from a "rejection letter" to an "interminable commencement speaker."

UMASS Chancellor Lombardi said the scariest visions he could imagine would be two people...

“in the costume of state and federal regulators, their clothing made of a special material that attracts large quantities of expensive paper, and carrying a sign with their motto: Inefficiency, Ineffectiveness, and No Innovation. A terrifying apparition to be sure."

Boo!

What's a Modern Girl to Do?

This morning in the New York Times Magazine is a fascinating article by Maureen Dowd.

Here is an excerpt:

"At a party for the Broadway opening of "Sweet Smell of Success," a top New York producer gave me a lecture on the price of female success that was anything but sweet. He confessed that he had wanted to ask me out on a date when he was between marriages but nixed the idea because my job as a Times columnist made me too intimidating. Men, he explained, prefer women who seem malleable and awed. He predicted that I would never find a mate because if there's one thing men fear, it's a woman who uses her critical faculties. Will she be critical of absolutely everything, even his manhood?

He had hit on a primal fear of single successful women: that the aroma of male power is an aphrodisiac for women, but the perfume of female power is a turnoff for men. It took women a few decades to realize that everything they were doing to advance themselves in the boardroom could be sabotaging their chances in the bedroom, that evolution was lagging behind equality.

A few years ago at a White House correspondents' dinner, I met a very beautiful and successful actress. Within minutes, she blurted out: "I can't believe I'm 46 and not married. Men only want to marry their personal assistants or P.R. women."

I'd been noticing a trend along these lines, as famous and powerful men took up with young women whose job it was was to care for them and nurture them in some way: their secretaries, assistants, nannies, caterers, flight attendants, researchers and fact-checkers."

So, I'm wondering if this is true. Can successful single women blame their singleton status on their careers? Or is it the fact that when forced to choose between a relationship and pursuing their career, they choose their career? And do men really prefer a woman who is not their equal when it comes to intellect? Or ambition?

I think its kind of a cop out for women to make that assumption. But what do I know...