ZooMASS: It's a Jungle Over Here

According to a story in the Republican today, private security guards have been hired to police some of the UMASS residence halls. Seems that UMASS had the highest crime rate among all large universitys for 2002-2003. The HIGHEST. Did you know that? No? Neither did I.

The piece goes on to say that violence at UMASS has declined by 50% since then, but still. Wow. That's alarming.

There was a segment on Primetime last night about this, but I missed it--of course.

Is there really that much more violence at UMASS? Or is that other universities aren't reporting the way they should? And does it matter? A story in the Boston Globe yesterday has some interesting theories as to why UMASS's statistics look the way they do.

For students' perspectives check out the UMASS LiveJournal.

So now what are some creative ways that we can lower violence at UMASS? How about Hawiian Shirt Fridays or free coffee during morning classes? You don't think it will work? Well, I'm not sure that security guards stationed at the dorms will really work either. But maybe that's just me.

More Fun at the UMASS Campus Center

So, here is another one from Craig's List "Missed Connections"


I knew there was another reason to like the campus center! But what I want to know is, what did this guy say about his ex-girlfriend and her "time of the month"?

Meeting on Neutral Territory

I love walking through the UMASS campus center. I do so on my way back to my office after teaching class every monday, wednesday, and friday. I love it not for the decor (70s concrete), not for the food (cafeteria-style), but for the quasi-street fair atmosphere. For those of you who aren't at UMASS, the campus center main thorough-fair is often lined with tables. Tables are set up by student organizations, vendors, and clubs. You can buy cheap sunglasses and earrings, learn about the fencing club, or sign up for the next Habitat for Humanity spring break trip. The arrangement of tables (whether by chance or design) is always interesting, and makes for some great people watching.

Today the "Stop the Occupation of Iraq" table was right across from the "Air Force National Guard" table. So, on one side you see a pacifist in birkenstocks and long hair...and on the other, you see 3 uniformed clean-cut Air Force recruiters. When I walked through the hall a second time, one of the recruiters had crossed the border and was deep in conversation with the pacifist. I would love to have eavesdropped on that conversation...


On a related note, last spring I walked through the student center and spied the "Cannabis Reform Coalition" table, next to the "Chabad House" table. As I walked by, the orthodox jew was showing the cannabis guy how to wrap tefillin. It was surreal.

Wouldn't it be great if everyone with a strong viewpoint was forced to sit next to a person with a divergent view point on a regular basis?

Two Ships Pass in the Night at Panera Bread

Craig's List is a cool site. Most of my friends who have rented an apartment in NYC or in San Fransisco found the listing on Craig's List. My cousin bought her vintage VW off of Craig's List, and I even know a woman who found her boyfriend there. It is brand new in Western Mass, so it isn't as fun to read as the larger metro versions of the site, but I still like to scan a section called "Missed Connections."

"Missed Connections" is an online version of that section in the newspaper classifieds where people write messages to that special someone who they made eye contact with, but missed the opportunity to say hello to. I find it both romantic and sad (since chances are that the object of their affection will probably never read the item). A generic example goes something like this: "The N/R train on Sunday around 10:30 AM. You in a blue shirt and ponytail reading Incredible Lightness of Being. Me, sitting across from you. I smiled and you smiled back, but you got off at Jay Street before I worked up the courage to talk to you..."

Today, I saw this ad on Craig's List:

Marist Rugby chic at Panera - w4w - 23
Reply to: mailto:pers-110957349@craigslist.org?subject=Marist%20Rugby%20chic
%20at%20Panera%20%2d%20w4w%20%2d%2023%20
Date:2005-11-13, 3:16PM EST

Dear Marist Rugby chic, I saw you smiling at me, or were you blushing? Not sure. Is that why you sat so close to me? Anyway, I thought you were cute which is why I smiled at you. The rugby shirt didn't hurt. You looked adorable in it. I liked the hair too. nice. Anyway, I get nervous around people who look like you which is why I didn't approach you. What's your excuse? You're friends were there for moral support. You should have gotten up and said hi. too bad...if you're ever in amherst again, look me up.

Here is the thing about this ad. I was at the Panera Bread when this was happening! There was a rugby match in town, and both the Marist team and the Army team ate at Panera and sat in the same section as me. I wish I was paying attention. It was right under my nose the whole time!

So Marist Rugby Chic, if you are reading (which I know you aren't) give this poor guy a shout out. I've included a convenient link for you above.

If it's stolen, it's not always gone forever

Have you ever had your bike stolen? I've had 2 bikes stolen. One right out of my garage, and one from out in front of my house. The first one I put in to my renter's insurance and bought a brand new wonderful bike--and then that one got stolen about 4 years later. This time I didn't claim it on insurance, and now I'm sans bicycle. I figure if I can't keep my bikes locked up, I don't deserve to have one.

Anyway, if you've ever had your bike stolen, you'll know what I'm talking about when I share the following story:

When your bike has been stolen, you find yourself habitually looking at the bikes that people are riding--as if you will one day happen to see someone tooling around on your own bike. "Could that be my bike?" you think as you squint to make out the writing on the crossbar of the red bike the 13 year old kid is riding on the sidewalk as you drive by in your car. Of course, you know it will NEVER be your bike, but you look just the same.

Well, one day it WAS my bike. No joke.

When I was in college a friend, who was an avid cyclist, helped me pick out a bike. It was state of the art at the time. I was very proud of that bike, and rode it for the next 10 or 12 years. By the time it was stolen, it was pretty much the only one of its kind (at least in my neck of the woods). It was stolen right out of my car port. I reported it to the police, who actually came out to my apartment to take a report (I lived in a small suburb at the time, I guess they had nothing better to do). I filed a claim against my renter's insurance, and bought a new bike.

About a year and a half later, I was at a newstand not 2 blocks from my home when a kid rode by on a red bike. Out of habit, I looked at the bike to see if it was mine. AND IT WAS. No mistake. That kid was riding around on my stolen bike. All the times that I had examined the red bikes that rode past, I never stopped to think what I would do if I actually saw my bike!

The kid parked the bike outside of the newstand and walked in. I was paralyzed. What to do? I already claimed the bike on my insurance. So was it even mine anymore? But then I felt the old anger that I had felt the moment I realized someone had taken my bike in the first place. I walked up to the kid (he was probably around 14 or 15) and asked "Do you know that you are riding a stolen bicycle?"

HIM: Uh.....

ME: That bike...outside. It was stolen. Where did you get it?

HIM: Ummm...I bought it for $30 from a kid in East Haven. (A town about 5 miles away).

ME: Really? That's funny. It was stolen about 2 blocks from here. Look. I already claimed it on my renter's insurance. I have a new bike, so I guess I don't really care but...(and we began walking outside) You may want to be careful about riding it. The police were notified that it was stolen (as if they would pull him over for riding a stolen bicycle!).

I couldn't tell if he was telling the truth, or if he had stolen it himself. Either way, he knew it was stolen, and he knew that it was mine. I could tell he just wanted to get out of there. But, I was curious if he was actually going to get on that bike and ride away.

HIM: Here, do you want it?

ME: Yeah, actually I do. (and I got on the bike a rode it home).

It was the oddest experience.

photo by Found Magazine